Huge Stretch Upcoming; New Feature.

I’m not going to get too deep into the Detroit Tigers today. They took 2 of 3 from the Indians over the weekend, which is something I pretty much expected. That is just weird that the team is playing so well as to expect something like that. At any rate, they start a four game set with the Yankees today then get the Red Sox and White Sox. It is obviously a MASSIVE 10 games ahead. Meanwhile, on this Memorial Day holiday, I’d like to introduce the most gratuitous of all possible features. It is called Hot Girls Being Hot. It pulls no punches and really lets you know what you’re getting into from the outset. Enjoy your day off if you were fortunate enough to get it and enjoy these scorchingly hot women (also feel free to place your requests in the Comments).

HGBH
Let’s start with a beautiful picture of Julia Stiles looking like an absolute doll. She possesses a good bit of that girl-next-door wholesomeness. I’d assert that she’s underrated in terms of her looks.

I honestly have no idea who this girl is, but frankly, I don’t care. Wow! Elisabetta Canalis is some kinda hot. Just sit back and let her hotness sink into your eyes.

I couldn’t tell you a damn thing about characters, stories, or episodes of Veronica Mars, UPN’s most famous show, but I do know that she, or rather the actress playing her (Kristen Bell) is so pretty. She doesn’t have the sexiness of someone like Canalis, but she’s damn attractive as evidenced by this picture. She and I are both from Detroit, Michigan, yet I doubt that improves my chances at all.

In terms of celebrities I’d love to date, Scarlett Johansson tops my list. Even before seeing this fine piece of photography, I was a huge fan. Now, I’m just left speechless. She is so gorgeous. I was both surprised and pleased that the lovely Ms. Johansson topped FHM’s list of 100 Sexiest Women. I obviously feel she was more than deserving, I’m just surprised the dolts that read that kind of drek didn’t pick some 14-pound skank like Paris Hilton or Lindsey Lohan. Well done FHM readership, you were a shoo-in to screw up and pulled a proverbial rabbit out of your hat. While we’re on the subject, I highly recommend the movie Match Point if only because it stretched the Scarlett section long enough to post another picture.

Even back when their rivarlry of hotness matched the Red Sox-Yankees battle, I always picked Christina Aguilera over Britney Spears. Now it’s like matching the NL All-Stars against the Royals with Aguilera crushing the cud-chewing trailer trash formerly known as Britney Spears. This GQ photoshoot was like Pujols smashing a grand slam in the bottom of 7th off of Steve Stemle with the All-Stars up 22 to negative four. (Sidenote: that Steve Stemle reference is sure to send Stemle Google searchers here, which has to be good for at least three extra visits over the course of the next seven months.)

One of my best friends simply cannot stand Penelope Cruz, something I find unfathomable. I love the accent, the look, the hair, the name, all of it. She’s beautiful. Seriously, what is his problem? I need new friends.

This picture being taken at the Golden Globes is quite coincidental. Note that many would tend to use the word “ironic” where I used “coincidental”. I did so because I like being correct and ironic wouldn’t be the right the word based on its defintion:

i·ron·ic adj.

1. Characterized by or constituting irony.
2. Given to the use of irony. See Synonyms at sarcastic.
3. Poignantly contrary to what was expected or intended: madness, an ironic fate for such a clear thinker.

This addendum is also found after the definition:

Usage Note: The words ironic, irony, and ironically are sometimes used of events and circumstances that might better be described as simply “coincidental” or “improbable,” in that they suggest no particular lessons about human vanity or folly. Thus 78 percent of the Usage Panel rejects the use of ironically in the sentence In 1969 Susie moved from Ithaca to California where she met her husband-to-be, who, ironically, also came from upstate New York. Some Panelists noted that this particular usage might be acceptable if Susie had in fact moved to California in order to find a husband, in which case the story could be taken as exemplifying the folly of supposing that we can know what fate has in store for us. By contrast, 73 percent accepted the sentence Ironically, even as the government was fulminating against American policy, American jeans and videocassettes were the hottest items in the stalls of the market, where the incongruity can be seen as an example of human inconsistency. (Source: Dictionary.com)

Wow, talk about straying off-topic.

He is a pro football quarterback, he has won multiple Super Bowl rings, he has gobs of money, he’s an overall badass that most women find very attractive and as if that weren’t enough for New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, he is also dating the lovely Bridget Moynahan. Rough life.

I recently discussed my new-found love for HBO’s Entourage and make no mistake that it is due at least in part to the presence of Emmanuelle Chriqui. Despite 36 IMDb credits, she is not very high-profile, but she really lights up the screen in her performances. So for that, I will post six straight pictures of her:

One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Six

I’m actually going to sit through National Lampoon’s Adam & Eve went it reaches the top of my Netflix queue just because she stars in it! She will definitely be a regular in HGBH.

Natalie Portman never takes a bad picture as far as I’m concerned. Even when she’s donning a shaved head, or better yet, with a pink wig… she’s still so damn pretty. She gives Johansson the most competition for tops among the Baseball By Paul list of celebrity beauties.

Speaking of girls contending for that top spot, Brittany Murphy is so damn sexy. She has come a long way since
Clueless
.

A very underrated hottie is singer Nelly Furtado. She’s making a comeback and I, for one, am glad she will be popping up more and more often in the media.

Finally, let’s close the debut of Hot Girls Being Hot with Anne Hathaway, or as I like to call her, Anne Hothaway. What an amazing shot of her here.

Hope you all enjoy this as much as I enjoyed finding the links for it. Every once in a while, I’ll drop one of these just to give you all some eye candy. Just over an hour until Jeremy Bonderman takes on Randy Johnson in game one with the Yankees. Go Tigers!!!

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One Comment to “Huge Stretch Upcoming; New Feature.”

  1. Yeah, your kitties are wonderful but these give it up. Here’s Marisha Austgen http://tinyurl.com/yd5bk4

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