Archive for October 26th, 2006

Thursday: 10.26.2006

You’ve Got To Be Kidding Me.

I haven’t made it any secret that I’m not a huge fan of Bill Simmons. He’s very hit-n-miss and for the past few years, his miss rate is much higher. I think he runs out the same tired jokes time and again and focuses far too much on reality TV jokes that often miss the mark. I realize Page 2 isn’t the bastion of sports, hell ESPN isn’t either, but maybe a little less focus on trying to pop off a one-liner wouldn’t make them look so forced and cause them to fall flat. Anyway, I was directed to his latest article, filled with backtracking of the highest order after he blasted the World Series, wherein he actually accused Kenny Rogers of steroid use:

“Back to Rogers: Does anyone else believe that he planted that brown stuff on his left hand to deflect attention away from the fact that he fits every possible profile of a steroids/greenies guy? I mean, let’s say you just returned from a three-week safari in Africa and I told you, “Yo, there’s this veteran pitcher in his early 40s with a storied track record for choking in big games, only now he’s working on a 22-inning scoreless streak in October and punctuating each start by screaming after every out and stomping around like a crazy homeless guy trying to clear out a bus stop?” Wouldn’t your first thought be, “What’s he taking?” Instead, we’re worried about some mud on his hand? Somebody make this guy pee in a cup, please.”

This claim is laughable at best and somewhat disturbing at worst. I just don’t see how this guy links a turn of luck in the postseason coupled with emotion during the streak as a sign of steroids. It probably wouldn’t bother me so much if I didn’t already dislike him, but this is just ridiculous. Stick to Laguna Beach references and an unhealthy obsession with the NBA.